these fucking things
Fun fact there things were recalled for causing “eye injuries, including scratched corneas and incidents of temporary blindness, broken teeth, a mild concussion, a broken rib, and facial lacerations that required stitches.”
these things were the fucking best
HOW THE SHIT DID SOMEONE BREAK THEIR FUCKING RIB
you people don’t understand how fucking powerful these things were, you were supposed to pull gently and it’d fly just fine but if you pull it like a chainsaw or a lawnmower they will behave as such. t h e y a r e d e a d l y.
if you spin it super fast the feet don’t even leave the thing and you’d have yourself a short range combat weapon
as a kid i was sure i could take down any bad dude that came at me with this thing it hurt like hell
I seem to be the only asshole who remembers the “boy” version of these fucking health hazards
fuckin dragon flyz
And this is what happens when a masterfully crafted katana collides with a masterfully crafted longsword.
Suck it, katana
And that is what happens when a masterfully crafted scalpel collides with a masterfully crafted guillotine.
Does nobody understand that longswords and katanas are two different kinds of tool?Longswords are essentially sharpened fucksticks designed to destroy the shit out of anything resembling armor that comes their way. They shatter bone, jelly flesh, and essentially fuck people up by sheer inexorable force of being a goddamn sharp steel bar.
Katanas don’t do that.They’re not meant to withstand collision with armor or a brick wall or a charging fully outfitted warhorsebecause the circumstances of its development didn’t call for that. It’s a precision instrument. It’s designed to be lightweight, outmaneuver, and find weak spots, not go barreling into people hack-n-slashing your way to victory. It’s a specialized tool.
In a sense this reflects a core difference between cultures; katanas are a shitton of work and preparation to make the execution as efficient and streamlined as possible, while longswords are more durably and simply made in response to a climate that would require a soldier to be a one-man battering ram in battle.
You slam any blade into any other blade and one of them is at least going to get chipped, because you’re NOT SUPPOSED TO FUCKING DO THAT.
Medieval European / Japanese sword-fighting manuals didn’t have “Now Clang the Swords Together and Totally Ruin Them For No Good Reason Whatsoever” sections. That sword-clanging crap is from movies because you want to show a 2 minute dancey sword-fight and have to do something during that time, because in real sword fights it’s either over in 25 seconds with one guy on the ground, dead, or it goes on for 4 hours as two guys in armor wear themselves out, slamming the broad sides of the sword against the armor.
Swords aren’t lightsabers.
This is like proving a Volkswagen Beetle is a “crap car” by running it into a bridge pylon at 85 mph. It’s a pointless demonstration, because you’re not supposed to do that.
Neither one of these weapons was invented to cut another sword in half, Both were invented to cut a GUY in half. In slightly different ways, but still.
not to mention that even when you do his block with a parry, you never, NEVER do it edge to edge. That focuses all the force down to a single point and again you get chipped and ruined swords. when blocking a sword with your own blade, you ALWAYS use the flat side of your sword. More control, less ruined swords.
as for the suck it katana, the sword that is bolted down has an equally big chip in it, and may have bent if it hadn’t been against a hard surface.
Also, judging by those chips and flying shards I’m fairly confident that your “masterfully crafted” swords are actually stainless steel display swords.
welcome to australia. bring earplugs for your children.
Fuck that shit, the little cunts can buy their own.
fuck me backwards with a telegraph pole
Oi, fuck face
I’m sorry, but you expect me to offer to work late? If I say “when the FUCK do you expect me to do this” it means “Are you taking the piss, there is no fucking way I can get to this cunting work, your tyrannical ass is already drowning me in the mother fucking stuff”
….. fuck.Gotta love how Pixar keeps making films relevant to our generation, huh?
My favourite bit of this picture is that you can’t see Mike because of the text.